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The Ultimate List Of “That Guy” People You Want To Punch In The Face

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I hate to be “that guy,” but — bullshit.

No “that guy” has ever hated being “that guy.”  The whole point of a “that guy” is to annoy the ever-loving shit out of those around him until they need to be physically restrained from punching him in the face.  No matter where you go, you’re never safe from encountering “that guy.”  This list will go to show you…he’s everywhere.

That guy who always picks a fight on the Internet.

We get it, it’s easy to be a tough guy on the Internet.  All I’m trying to do is read the comments on an interesting CNN article, but the comments section is completely inundated with “those guys” who are yelling at each other about religion and how everything is Obama’s fault.

Credit: Courtesy of Panda Whale

Credit: Courtesy of Panda Whale

 

That guy who can’t stop talking to his neighbor while the teacher is saying important stuff.

Can you just shut up for two seconds?!  Maybe you didn’t come to class to learn, but I’m paying like $400 per credit hour for this shit, so I’d like to avoid failing, if at all possible.  Go outside if you want to talk.

Credit: Courtesy of Tumblr

Credit: Courtesy of Tumblr

 

That guy who thinks the rules don’t apply to him.

No parking?  Well, not for “that guy.”  He just has to run inside and return something real quick.  And use the bathroom.  And pick up two or three grocery items his wife asked for.  But it’s okay because he left his hazard lights on.

Credit: Courtesy of Giphy

Credit: Courtesy of Giphy

 

That guy who posts pseudo-intellectual paragraphs of nonsense on Facebook, thinking it makes him seem smart.

This particular guy read some Nietzsche in college, and now he’s like a total philosophical cesspool.  Most of the stuff he says doesn’t mean anything at all, but he owns a thesaurus so it’s full of big, pretty words.

Credit: Courtesy of Static

Credit: Courtesy of Static

 

That guy who brings his guitar to the party.

Sure, I would much rather listen to you strum your way through “Wonderwall” than listen to whatever’s on the stereo.  Oh, “Wonderwall” is the only song you can play?  Fuck me.

Credit: Courtesy of Tumblr

Credit: Courtesy of Tumblr

 

That guy who updates his Facebook status multiple times an hour.

That’s what Twitter’s for, dude!  Even on Twitter, no one wants to hear that you’re still waiting in the dentist’s office and you’ve been here for an hour, and blah blah blah.

Credit: Courtesy of WordPress

Credit: Courtesy of WordPress

 

That guy who always has to interrupt whatever you’re saying and one-up you with his own story.

The one-upper “that guy” is truly a prodigious asshole.  Why does anyone invite him anywhere?

Credit: Courtesy of Images Buddy

Credit: Courtesy of Images Buddy

 

That guy who smokes right outside the building doors, so you have to cough your way through his cloud to get inside.

Please, “that guy,” at least give us a little safe zone!

Credit: Courtesy of Giphy

Credit: Courtesy of Giphy

 

That guy who thinks the left lane was designated just for him.

I can never tell if this “that guy” honestly doesn’t know that you’re only supposed to use the left lane for passing, or if he knows and just doesn’t fucking care that everyone on the road hates him.

Credit: Courtesy of Tumblr

Credit: Courtesy of Tumblr

That guy who won’t stop talking on the phone while paying the cashier.

It’s so rude!  Come on, “that guy,” you’re better than that!  Well…maybe not.

Credit: Courtesy of WordPress

Credit: Courtesy of WordPress

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Becky is a 2011 graduate of the University of Kansas with a degree in English Literature. She is an independent contractor, specializing in writing, editing, and creative consulting. In her spare time, she enjoys coffee, reading up on the latest Game of Thrones theories, and slaking her lust for all things dorky.